Monday, August 16, 2010

Hissy Fit Alert

****This is a rant.  If you're looking for happiness and rainbows, please check back another day :)  I really hesitated to post this for fear of airing my dirty laundry and/or someone IRL seeing it.  But I'm upset and hurt and frustrated and this blog is a place where I can turn to let it all out and be supported by other women who know what I'm going through.  I've said my piece and can honestly say I would not regret it getting back to the people mentioned below.

So the other night we were having a party. Before everyone got here I tried to have Squirmy fed and rested so he'd be pleasant and so that I could host/cook without being interrupted. He was a champ getting passed around for awhile. My SIL brought a case of Mike's Hard and I was excited that I actually had a bottle's worth of milk in the freezer. After awhile I tried to put him down because he was overstimulated and tired. I nursed him for a few minutes since I'd barely started my first drink. He went down for a little bit but one niece was ridiculously loud and kept waking him up. Finally I brought him back out to the party. Things were dwindling down but he was quite fussy. I kept trying to excuse his talking and explaining that he was tired. MIL INSISTED he wasn't tired and kept playing with him and bouncing him and stimulating him with every flashy musical toy she could find...seriously we only have like 2 that play music with lights and she kept shoving them in his face. Somehow I ended up with him in my lap, overtired and over it. I couldn't calm him down. This is not to say that he was screaming or throwing a fit...just talking and fussing and I know my child and he was not happy and couldn't be made happy. 

I passed him off to my SIL so I could fix him a bottle...something he's only had a handful of times. He started fussing really good for her and I hurried. I mentioned to my MIL that I was fixing him a bottle so she could feed him. She was over the moon! Then she nastily told her daughter that she was in HER seat and had HER baby (UM, he's MY baby). I gave her the breastflow bottle we've always used. He just screamed. I was worried that he was too hungry to put up with figuring the bottle out (it's always taken him longer with a bottle than breast) and got out a regular bottle I'd gotten for free at some point. I figured if it was easier to get out, he might go for it. More screaming. I tried to take him to see if he'd start the bottle with me, since sometimes he won't take it unless I start it and then hand him off... he knows only I give milk. He was screaming his bloody head off by this point. I decided to trust the things I've read that say you can have 1 drink without it really affecting the baby. I'd had ONE Mike's Hard over the course of the past 2 hours. I crossed my fingers and began to nurse him.

My MIL had already stormed off to leave me with a screaming child. At this point she began CRYING, yes CRYING, and went off on my husband/her son about how she's so hurt and upset that this is the only grandchild (out of 10) that she's never been able to feed...or hold without him crying. She threw in that last part a few beats after the feeding thing. EFF YOU lady!! She supposedly breast fed 6 children and has made me feel so unbelievably uncomfortable feeding my child around her. She is literally the ONLY person I hesitate to feed around because she makes such a scene of avoiding me while feeding. Now she has the gall to complain that she's never gotten to feed him. I can LITERALLY count on one hand the number of times Squirmy has gotten a bottle. 

She acts as though has hasn't spent entire afternoons and days over here just holding him and playing with him. As soon as he starts talking, she freaks out and asks him what's wrong. Then he gets upset because she's upset. She constantly complains that he's always sleeping, eating, or fussing when she's around. HE'S AN EFFING BABY!!! Mind you I have a generally good/happy baby.  I simply CANNOT believe she's offended that she hasn't gotten to feed him. Wait until she finds out we're doing Baby Led Weaning and she'll never spoon him pureed peas!

The thing that really gets to me, 2 days later, is that I have bent over backwards to help her and her whole family.  I have done so much for all of them.  I have never asked for or wanted anything in return except respect and kindness.  I have invited her into our home on days I really didn't want company.  I have smiled and been a gracious hostess when I was dog dead tired and not interested in entertaining.  I have never once said "no" to her coming over, even when it was inconvenient.  But, she doesn't know that.  I've always been gracious and welcoming and tried my hardest to make her comfortable.  What she doesn't realize is all of this will now be going away.  I have bent over backwards and been kicked (HARD) while doing so.  No, our door will no longer be open and I just might not be as willing to have company...

1 comment:

Carly said...

I am glad that I am not the only one who has Problems with their Mil and BreastMilk..I however went back to work when my 2nd son was 8 weeks old. My husband had his Mother over Helping him with the baby wile I was at work. She convinced him that the Baby needed Formula to end his crying ,and My Husband mixed some sample from the Hospital and gave it to him. When I came home I was so angry .I threw away all the free samples and was basicly throwing my Breast Pump at him ...Reading stats on the Importance of BreastMilk..So even though its not totally the same situation. I have been there..Good Luck getting through this!!