I haven't been very good about keeping up with my blog.  :(  Life has been chaotic lately.  I now have 2 extra kids during the day, one who's 2 months older than Squirmy (so 9 months now) and my nephew who's 9.5 months older (about to be 17mo).  They keep me busy for sure.

I also got away from blogging a bit because my best friend was living with us.  She moved towards the beginning of the summer.  It was a mutually beneficial arrangement.  Despite all the naysayers and warnings about having a roommate, the situation turned out to be ideal.  Beyond a shadow of a doubt, she quickly turned from my best friend/our roommate to family.

*insert long discussion about immigration laws, politics, and other absurdities*

This weekend, my dear friend had to leave our home/her home.  She had to fly back to England, a country she was born in but has never considered home.  Her departure was harder than I expected.  Don't get me wrong, I expected to be upset....just not this upset.

For those outside of the situation, it's hard to understand.  So what?  She went back to England, no biggie.  But it is a big deal.  She left not by her own will; she left upset; she went somewhere she hates under circumstances that are difficult; she cannot return to visit (and we don't know when she'll be able to come back at all); we cannot afford to fly to England to visit her; she is very much a part of the family; she was a huge part of our daily lives.

I keep thinking about how you feel when someone passes away or you go through a rough break up.  Every little thing you do reminds you of that person.  Every little thing is infused with a memory.  Every little thing turns into something upsetting and mournful.  That's where I am.  Every little thing is setting me off.  Every little thing reminds me of how she's not in my daily life.  Every little thing is a haunting reminder that she's not here.

This sucks...yeah...that's all I got...